12:51 am
Monday, April 07, 2008
Don't Look at me..



I mean it when I say this, I've seriously lost track of the days/dates/time. Yeap! Everyday seems to be the same, without any drastic changes. Mondays feel like Saturdays, and Saturdays feel like Wednesdays.. * sigh. Just what the hell is happening to me?

My life has come to a point where I need a real good slap across the face and being yelled at "Wake up Catherine!! Get your lazy ass out of the house and do some soul-searching..".
Its been a week since I turned 19.. and I already feel so old! Haha.. Everyday I think, "God.. What do I do now?". I"m seriously having mix feelings about this and that, and its driving me NUTS! I'm getting envious over little things.. which is bloody unusual, cause I'm hardly like that?

Just the other day, was 'blog-hopping' here and there, came across an old friend's webbie. Damn.. she used to be so "quiet" in secondary school and now she's so bloody happy with her life? ( so she claims la..) She's in Australia now, obtaining a degree. She's got a sweet, loving boyfriend.. Although she wasn't that "independent" before, well she is now. She cooks her own meals, does the cleaning and washing in her apartment that she rents. All this ON HER OWN! Without her mom and dad. I mean, how cool is that man? Sure, she probably still gets allowance from her parents, but that's tuition fees only? She's got a part-time job to support herself. WOW..

I should have just told mom and dad to ship me off somewhere to further my studies. I don't care where, just out of this country. Like my friend, I too want to see the world, be on my own and yes, OBTAIN A FREAKIN DEGREE. I honestly feel that getting a FULL-TIME job at this time, doesn't really make me feel comfortable. I've got a whole lot more to learn if I want to do a good job at doing things. But...? Argh.. forget it.

I don't really know if i should break this piece of news to mom and dad. They'd probably freak out since they are 100% positively sure that I might flunk in it, if i do continue my studies.
Awww man.. I'm confused. I need a drink.. relax Cat..
I'll continue this another time. For now, I need to sit somewhere and do some drastic thinking.